I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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