no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
