thus making me awesome and them whores
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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