haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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