No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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