Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
