Sponge bath it is.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Come share oat with me in your robe
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
