Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
