i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
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