I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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