He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
