im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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