So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
