Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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