I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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