Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
