so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
