No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
