Kiss
Puke
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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