pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
