i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
