Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
