I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
