I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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