New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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