I'm gonna have a badass scar
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
