why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
