There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
