Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
