6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
