well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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