Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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