1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize