I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
