Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize