is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
