people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize