i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
