I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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