Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
