im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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