I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
