i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize