On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
