can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
