woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
