We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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