Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
