he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
