Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
