What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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