The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
