Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
