You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
