haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
