dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
