I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
