whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
