i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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