She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
