On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
