I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
