her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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